By helping children to name and
understand their emotions, you give them tools to cope with their feelings all
their lives. In fact, being our child's emotional "tutor" is one of
our most important jobs as adults. Understanding feelings - one's own and those
of others - is a critical first step in becoming empathetic and thoughtful. The
ultimate goal is for children to learn to conduct themselves appropriately -
even when adults aren't around. We provide some fun ways to help kids respond
to difficult situations and make sense of their emotional world.
Make
a Difference.....
You
can help your child develop emotional intelligence with these games and
activities.
- Play with our Feelings
Flashcards from our
Big-Hearted Families site. Try our suggested game ideas
or make up your own.
- List
"reaction" strategies. With your children, list
strategies for coping with difficult emotions. Brainstorm activities that
might ease an unpleasant feeling without resorting to hurtful reactions.
In addition to anger, come up with strategies for dealing with
nervousness, anticipation, boredom and more. ("I can stomp my feet
when I'm angry; I can draw a comic strip when I'm bored.") You might
be surprised at how different family members settle themselves. Keep the
list handy for when tough emotions arise.
- Illustrate
abstract emotions. Have your children draw what different emotions
look like. They might draw forceful red lines for anger, or smooth, wavey
lines for calm. This activity can initiate interesting conversations about
the power of those big feelings.
Test your instincts. Take this quiz
to see how well you read people's
facial expressions. This might be a bit tough for younger kids but a fun way to
practice.
Talk About It.....
The
great thing about feelings is that there are so many opportunities for some BIG
conversations. While it's good to discuss how your child or another person is
feeling in the moment, it is also important to talk about feelings when your
child is not caught up in emotion.
- Talk about
experiences after they have happened and reflect together on all the ways
you and your child responded well, and/or how the situation might be
handled differently in the future. If there was a conflict, make sure to
acknowledge both sides of the story.
- When reading
with your child, discuss the characters' emotions. Ask questions about how
different characters might be feeling.
Remind kids (and yourself!) that
everyone has different "triggers" that ignite those big feelings.
Talk about what sets you off, and what you notice gets others going. It can
help us be more compassionate when we realize that we all find certain things a
challenge to face.
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